Steve Lomas says his team did him proud during their defeat to - don't even try and pronounce it - the Turks, while (cues The Third Man theme) former Celtic team-mates Aiden McGeady and Michael Gardyne have been trading info on Dundee United's Europa League opponents, Dynamo Moscow. While wearing trenchcoats. Probably.
Meanwhile, in Norwich, Robert Sno... wait. Wait a minute. (switches off The Third Man theme).
Ahem. Or should we say "aha"! Meanwhile, in Norwich, the newly acquired Robert Snodgrass says that he couldn't have possibly turned down the chance to play in the Premiership after moving to Carrow Road from Leeds United.
Kilmarnock's soothsayer-in-chief, Kenny Shiels, believes that his club are like the snow leopard, the rainbow parrotfish and the goitered gazelle. For them all, survival is the main priority.
There's a story on French taxation (more exciting than it seems), a discussion of Barry Bannan's pre-season form (far more exciting than it seems) and a goal from Brazil which features a few stepovers and a rabona (which is exactly as exciting as it seems).
The St Johnstone manager is proud of the effort from his players, and sees plenty of reasons to be cheerful ahead of the new season.
The Spartak Moscow winger has been talking with Michael Gardyne about how best to appraoch the match with city rivals Dynamo.
The Scotland international said that he couldn't turn down the chance to play in the Premiership.
After losing a whole fleet of first-team players at the end of last season, Kenny Shiels says that survival is the priority this year.
The Scotland midfielder looks a far more accomplished player already, judging by his form in the USA
Robin Cosmos discusses why the Cosmos have the chance to prove they are The Real Deal.
The Swedish captain may be the biggest star to join the Qatari revolution in Paris, but his salary could cause political problems because of new French tax laws (When Saturday Comes)
People who read this story also read
- Kevin Kyle holds talks with Rangers as club awaits Scottish FA decision
- Talks continue over Rangers' SFA membership with SPL issue remaining
- Robbie Savage says that he'd play for Rangers in Division Three 'for free'
- Steve Lomas: 'Lots of positives' for St Johnstone to take from Euro exit
- Football Talk: Secret Rangers document, best MLS moments, Sir Alex sings