This was the weekend of the handshake.

Never mind Greece burning to the ground, forget atrocities in Syria and put all thoughts of Zambia’s unbelievably poignant African Nations Cup victory to the back of your mind. The biggest story of the past few days has been one man refusing to press the flesh with another.

Albert Einstein once suggested that all positive forces have their equal and opposite effect in negative terms. If, as Overlord Sepp of Blatter believes, centuries of prejudice can be overcome by a handshake, just imagine the waves of negative energy released by its snub.

Of course it was Kenny Shiels and Paulo Sergio that everyone was frothing over, right? An already intriguing match between their two sides was given a hearty dose of spice when a very public spat between the managers was played out in last week’s press conferences.

In the blue and white corner was the demon headmaster himself, Kenny Shiels, who had suggested that his Hearts counterpart lacked self respect by allowing Vladimir Romanov to control aspects of team selection.

A fortnight previously, Shiels had angered Brian Reid by questioning Ayr’s defensive tactics, only to suggest after a 0-0 draw at Pittodrie that it was “fantastic” to “frustrate the home side”. Clearly there was amateur headology at work.

In the maroon corner was the deadpan, cardigan-wearing Jack Dee of Scottish football himself, Paulo Sergio. The Portuguese boss had been less than pleased with Shiels assessment, calling him a “clown” with a mixture of comic timing and the vague threat of a man who knows where the bodies are buried.

“After what he has said about me, not just this week but this was the fifth or sixth time. This time it was so low I don’t have words to describe it”, said Paulo Sergio, using words to describe it.

The match began as the build-up had suggested with Dieter Van Tornhout – a man who has surely said “I’ve come to fix the plumbing” onscreen, if you get my drift – and Jamie Hamill booked for action and reaction. Van Tornhout was sent off before Paul Heffernan put Kilmarnock ahead.

Not to be undone, Jamie Hamill was also sent off for a scything challenge. Rummaging around in the bottom of his squad, Sergio threw on 70s guitar virtuoso Suso Santana and it was the Spanish winger who scored an injury time equaliser.

Paulo Sergio suggested that despite The Snub he wished Kenny Shiels well, perhaps drawing a line under this particular chapter. One would guess that the Kilmarnock boss is not finished with his verbal barbs for the season. Here’s hoping.

Despite the high tensions at Rugby Park it was Inverness manager Terry Butcher who won this week’s Terrence Butcher award for being Characteristically Angry. The Inverness manager was going all Bruce Banner for the second time in a week after cup and league defeats to Celtic.

His ire had been turned on his own players after the Scottish Cup reversal but this weekend it was referee Steve McLean who unleashed the beast.

Joe Ledley had provided Celtic with what looked to be the first of many, only for MacLean to send off Daniel Majstorovic for a seemingly legitimate, if lackadaisical, challenge with Johnny Hayes. The numerical advantage was short lived, as Steve Williams was also controversially shown a second booking.

Celtic soaked up some late pressure to ensure victory, but Butcher was beyond angry with the officiating. If he gets this much rage at narrowly losing at the league leaders God forbid Dunfermline ever manage a win in the Highlands…

The Pars hosted Rangers in the early kick off on Saturday and surprised everybody, not least themselves, by showing intent to win a game in front of their home crowd. Andy Kirk added to the not inconsiderable nerves of the Rangers support.

Tensions were eased when David Healy equalised eight minutes later and Lee McCulloch put Rangers ahead just before half time. When Sone Aluko added a third such was the confidence of Ally McCoist’s men there was even a goal for “Kerkar Soze”.

All of which allowed Hibernian to creep a point ahead of the Pars at the bottom of the table with a 0-0 draw with Aberdeen. With Pat Fenlon showing more new faces than closing time on Harley Street and Aberdeen fielding a team of central midfielders, the draw was one of the safer bets of the weekend.

It was also scoreless between Motherwell and St Mirren. Sometimes 0-0 draws are soul-draining, sometimes they are absorbing, and other times they are genuinely exciting. This was the latter, but it is impossible to translate the exciting goalless draw into words.

So here’s the Michael Bay version… Chris Humphrey drove his motorbike through a huge fireball to crack a shot off the bar while Paul McGowan narrowly went close with a missile fired from his transforming superjet.

There were other exaggerations found at McDiarmid Park where Dundee United hammered St Johnstone 5-1. There are flattering scorelines and there are flattering scorelines and this was the kind of game that said “your fat arse makes your waist look really skinny”.

St Johnstone had all of the play in the early stages but shot themselves in the foot when Peter Enckelman had one of his occasional moments, missed a cross and watched as Steven Anderson put through his own net.

Not content with losing one foot, the Saints then blew off their other toes when Callum Davidson added a second own goal. Anderson scored in the right end to make a game of it and St Johnstone pressed for an equaliser.

With seven minutes to go the game was in the balance. Then Johnny Russell restored the two goal lead and St Johnstone gave up. Jon Daly added a fourth and Milos Lacny took advantage of another haphazard decision by Enckelman to get a fifth.

Peter Houston acknowledged that his side were perhaps a little fortunate to secure such a margin of victory, but Steve Lomas disagreed, paying tribute to the attacking prowess of United. Why can’t we all just get along?

In Brief

• It’s as you were at the top of the league with Celtic (65) restoring their four point gap over Rangers (61).
• Motherwell (42) failed to widen the gap over Hearts (36), but they do have a game in hand.
• St Johnstone (35) are in danger of getting dragged into the mid-table slog as Dundee United (30) moved into sixth place ahead of Aberdeen on goal difference.
• Kilmarnock (29) added another point, but failed to move any further from St Mirren (28). Inverness (26) remain in the top six hunt despite losing to Celtic.
• Hibs (19) now have a game in hand over Dunfermline (18) and a single point advantage.