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What should Andy Murray play with after girlfriend split?

The Write Factor: It seems Andy Murray needs a new hobby after breaking up with his girlfriend of four years. Teddy Craig investigates his options...

By Teddy Craig

02 December 2009 12:37 GMT

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What should Andy Murray play with after girlfriend split?

You’ve probably read recently that Andy Murray has sadly split from his girlfriend of four years, Kim Sears. As ever, the papers have been feverish in their speculation over what may have caused the split. I was highly amused to read the claim that it may have been caused in part by Andy spending too much time playing the new video game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

To be fair to Andy, if he has been spending hours of his day playing video games, it’s worked out pretty well for him. He doesn’t seem as prone to wrist injuries as he used to be. Remember when he was still in his teens and picked up that injury? How we all sniggered, winked, and nudged each other. The wrists seem to have strengthened nicely now though, so perhaps the console should be getting the credit!

However, if the downside of playing on his console is going to be damage to his relationship, then it seems like a different hobby may be called for. I’ve set my mind to the task of finding Andy a new pastime. I’m not even going to charge him for this service, I see myself as just doing it as a hob... oh, the irony.

As a sportsman, perhaps he’d enjoy something quite active? Having once been subjected to a “street-dance” movie, I can’t help thinking this would be a perfect form of relaxation for him. Then again, I am influenced by the hope that he’d take his dance moves onto the court with him, performing a victory break-dance after every ace and screaming “You got served!” at his opponent.

Maybe that would be too high impact a hobby for him - we don’t want him getting injured.  Sadly, that would also rule out him taking up wrestling.  Actually, the Scottish sporting icon I really want to see taking up wrestling is Stephen Hendry. If only to see him dress up in the full mask and costume, and march into the wrestling ring as “Hendo Nagasaki”.

I thought about yoga, but Andy already does that. When I first heard he does yoga, I was very impressed. Now though, I’m wondering how many of those yoga sessions simply involved sitting cross-legged for seven hours in front of a 42” plasma while blasting insurgents.  “OK Andy, now exhale…and launch the rocket-propelled grenades, let’s do these suckers!” “Yes, Maharishi… but are you sure this is helping me along the path to inner peace?”

Running out of inspiration to help Andy choose a new hobby, I checked the web to find a list of them. I’m glad I did. Nothing makes you feel quite so good about yourself as knowing you’ve never spent a weekend “tombstone rubbing”. I can only hope it involves crayon and paper and isn’t a euphemism for something that would lead to you signing a register if caught.

I’m afraid I’m stumped to come up with a better option for Andy than playing on his console. The only thing I can suggest in future is that if he’s going to spend his spare time playing video games, he starts selecting the two-player option and let’s the lady in his life have a go too. That’s if he can bear to lose at Wii Tennis…

Teddy Craig is a finalist in stv.tv's The Write Factor competition. The views expressed are not necessarily those of STV plc. If you would like to read more from this writer, use our comment system below.
 

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  1. Default avatar

    1. 03 Dec 2009 13:16Yossarian said

    Hendo Nagasaki oh yes!

    He hasn't got time for a girlfriend, or a hobby, he should be practicing 24/7 until he wins Wimbledon.

    Report as unsuitable

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    2. 03 Dec 2009 13:51JamboG said

    Great article, although it sounds like he's already got himself a new hobby; Golf - well I heard he was having to learn how to use an iron.

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    3. 03 Dec 2009 14:29Transyent said

    Perhaps he could become a gangster on the side? Do a spot of 'racketeering'? No? Oh well. I suppose I'll shut up now.

    Liked the article!

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    4. 03 Dec 2009 15:12puppydaddy said

    Enjoyed this article. If Murray can gun down innocents in an airport then it should give him the mental edge to win wimbeldon. But I don't want to see what he does if he loses again.

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    5. 03 Dec 2009 17:10depechebambina said

    nice one!i wonder if he makes those funny noises when he is playing his computer games too.not sexy.at all.:-)

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    6. 03 Dec 2009 17:23Ariel said

    I think a few of my friends would offer themselves up to be his playstation...

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    7. 03 Dec 2009 17:35scot said

    Hendo Nagasaki? That has GOT to happen for Comic Relief! John Virgo can get done up like Giant Haystacks and they can go for it!!!

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    8. 03 Dec 2009 19:38Martuska80 said

    To be honest sounds like he's a pretty boring guy... Maybe he should find some computer geek type of girl so they could play together - that would be very exciting relationship indeed...

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    9. 03 Dec 2009 20:36David H said

    Just confirms what we all know about Tennis players...To them, "Love" means nothing.

    *Groan*

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  10. Default avatar

    10. 03 Dec 2009 20:39David H said

    Theres a guy in my work who now regards Murray as a hero after reading this story...He also gets pelters from his missus due to the amount of time he spends playing COD so he now thinks Andy is great.

    I find that awfy sad to be honest.

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  11. Default avatar

    11. 03 Dec 2009 20:49GKM77 said

    Never thought an article about greetin'-face Murray would make me laugh this much.

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  12. Default avatar

    12. 03 Dec 2009 23:21somemachine said

    Is tennis his a hobby?

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  13. Default avatar

    13. 04 Dec 2009 14:29kinogeek said

    Nice one, Teddy.

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  14. Default avatar

    14. 04 Dec 2009 22:17DenzilVoorhees said

    Nice one Teddy. Particularly enjoyed the Gravestone Rubbing part.

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  15. Default avatar

    15. 04 Dec 2009 22:17Ita99 said

    He may be a great tennis player but off court he does not seem very dynamic. She probably just got bored. He could try dominos. That's a game enjoyed by old misery guts.

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  16. Default avatar

    16. 04 Dec 2009 22:29Sinny said

    Forget about Andy, the girlfriend needs to learn how to play and virtually kick his backside (guess what word STV won't let me type there!) so he's humiliated into packing away the console.

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  17. Default avatar

    17. 04 Dec 2009 23:02orklass said

    I bet all tennis players secretly play the Wii, when nobody's looking.

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  18. Default avatar

    18. 04 Dec 2009 23:06sianyb said

    Very funny - and I'm sure wee Andy could have solved his problems by inviting her to two player sessions...

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  19. Default avatar

    19. 05 Dec 2009 00:49annahuk said

    I'll be chuckling about "tombstone rubbing" all night! Great article.

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  20. Default avatar

    20. 05 Dec 2009 16:27barnsley sime said

    i think there may be a blond in the states thats into sprotsmen and apparently fresh on the market.

    "He doesn’t seem as prone to wrist injuries as he used to be". i'm guessing he will be now!

    Andy Murray. the tennis yo yo.

    british when he's winning.

    scottish when he's not.

    Report as unsuitable

  21. Default avatar

    21. 05 Dec 2009 17:13Oddeh said

    any chance that Britain's second fave 'Dour Scotsman' was going to cheer up for christmas is no officially on the bricks, I'd guess.

    That is unless he was to read this artical. Craig FTW!!

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  22. Default avatar

    22. 05 Dec 2009 21:24beardyniall said

    In my experience Wii tennis is more likely to destroy a relationship than save it.

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  23. Default avatar

    23. 05 Dec 2009 23:13breliant said

    Excellent. Athletes need to be single-minded; it was his girlfriend or the xbox.

    Although he may be taking up ironing.

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  24. Default avatar

    24. 06 Dec 2009 13:19patatatina81 said

    for all we know, Andy may be having a sexy virtual alter ego in one of those funky websites where anything goes and he may be quite a stallion in there.virtual reality can be quite addictive. but if he`d prefer virtual sex to the real thing, that would be quite worrying...

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